The music video for "Famous" by Kanye West was revealed last night, leaving everyone with many questions.
Mainly, "WTF DID I JUST WATCH?!"
To backtrack, I downloaded the 1 month subscription to "that site" Kanye houses his work on - not because of Kanye, but because of Prince. So, to say the least, I wasn't looking at JAY Z's company completely on purpose.
TMZ sent out a push message late last night - and I figured "Ah, yeah, Kanye's 7PM 'Famous Unveiling' was today," thinking that the hype of it would not live up to the expectation.
As a Kanye Fan, or as I like to call it, a "Kanye Apologist," I should have known to never underestimate Yeezus.
As I finally cracked open the video for his most controversial song off of The Life Of Pablo, I was fully expecting some sort of interesting art piece, and that there would be jabs at Taylor Swift. With audio from the 2009 MTV VMAs carefully spliced into the intro before Rihanna starts singing, I really should have thought to record my reaction for this music video.
The "art piece" could quite possibly Kanye's best work yet, and simultaneously, one of the most liable for lawsuits, depending on who comes forward to testify.
You may not be familiar with the art piece Vincent Desiderio commissioned called "Sleep," but it pictures naked people in a post-suggestive state, laying in a bed together. Many, many people.
As the world transcribes, many people call it "getting into bed" with someone when you begin to do things a certain way, especially with being as famous as Kim Kardashian and her family are. From this, we lay our scene which ended in many screams (all from me).
The video transitions from a sky that was similar to the skyline you saw in "Bound 2" from the Yeezus album, before you start to see many people naked, laying in bed together. Game of Thrones style nudity. Then you realize who is in the bed.
Let me transcribe this for you: George W. Bush. Anna Wintour. Donald Trump. Rihanna. Chris Brown. Taylor Swift. Kanye West. Kim Kardashian West. Ray J. Amber Rose. Caitlyn Jenner. Bill Cosby.
Naked in a bed.
Naked in a bed, giving their "breast" impersonation of the art piece "Sleep."
Once I caught my breath from intense amounts of screaming, I had to say to myself "This really can't be everyone. These have to be body doubles."
As the film continues, it's hard to decipher if George Bush and Anna Wintour are both themselves. Anna has been doing some pretty risque stuff in recent years - and she's friends with Kanye, so why not? George Bush? Kanye had his feud with him, saying that the former Prez did not like "black people." So unless this was vindication, who knows.
So how about Donald Trump? This really looks like him. I mean, really. As the video scans over his face, I would be surprised if it wasn't. I can't see his hands though, so I can't really be sure. TMZ says his reps claim that it "wasn't him," but really - we're not going to go into why we think that's probably a lie.
Rihanna and Chris Brown. They say the pair have squared their differences, and I am inclined to believe that yes, this is both of them.
Now the big one. Taylor Swift. It's hard to know if this is her, one, because her hair is too long, and two, because Kim and Kanye have been battling it out with Taylor in the media, calling her a liar, and she thought the line about her in "Famous" was fine with it - but then turned around and "played the victim" later. If this is, in fact, Taylor Swift, naked in bed, next to Kanye, then boy, this was the best marketing scheme I have EVER seen. And simultaneously, her squeaky clean image will now be gone. Hollywood Life claims, however, that Tay is "livid." More to follow on that, we're sure.
Skipping over Kim and Kanye, directly next to Kim is Ray J, Kim's sex tape partner, one of the reasons people say she's "Famous." Amber Rose, who's now buddies with Kim and has "squared things away" with Kanye, lays next to Ray J. You can tell it's her - because she moves. Same with Caitlyn Jenner, with her new found, realistic plastic surgery.
And finally, Bill Cosby. We're inclined to believe this is Bill, but if it is, that's probably a really bad time during a lawsuit about his sexual exploits. So that's a toss up.
Once I stopped hyperventilating, I realized Kanye might get sued for this big time - depending on who's real and who's not, for deformation of character. We're looking to Taylor Swift to be the first person to have a problem with this video.
Kanye cited as a sort of credits reel "Special Thanks To" and listed every celebrity, and thanked them "for being famous."
We're still waiting on the rest of the group to come forward and confirm or deny, but looking at this - Kanye just broke the internet, bigger than Kim ever had, and we're sure there's a lot of people trying to get their hands on the video to figure out the conspiracy, same as us.
I hope it's real. I hope it's all real. Because that would be the best joke - that you "fell for it" - all of it. Forever.
Thanks to the internet, I have likely seen more naked people than all of my ancestors combined. #FAMOUSpic.twitter.com/u5EfRqS9EE