Do This Instead of Giving the Finger to Bad Drivers
Giving the finger to bad drivers is a time-honored Masshole tradition. But I think it’s time to replace it with something new.
Ideally, we shouldn’t be flipping anyone off while driving. We should all be minding our own business, obeying traffic laws, and following the speed limit. Road rage is a real threat, after all. But this is Massachusetts. And that’s not going to happen. You might be doing everything in your power to drive safely and defensively. There’s always going to be some other jerk that isn’t.
These types of drivers always used to get under my skin. Truth be told, they still do. And there seems to be so many more of them on the roads these days. Motor vehicles are larger than ever, but roads and parking spaces are still the same size. Too many drivers have their eyes on their phones instead of on the road. So there’s plenty to get pissed off at. I’ve just found a new way to deal with it.
Do This Instead of Giving the Finger to Bad Drivers
Gone are the days where I’d lay on the horn and flip the bird after being cut off or what have you. I’ve found a replacement behavior, and I’m going to share it with you by telling you a story. Recently, I was at a 4-way stop. You know the rules: first to arrive, first to drive; right of way goes to the right. I was both first to arrive and to the right of the other car. And it was only the two of us.
The other driver was driving a Corvette. It wasn’t a cool, vintage Corvette. It was a “I’m having my midlife crisis and can’t afford a cool, vintage Corvette, so I’m driving this instead” Corvette. You can imagine the personality of the person who drives that car. It’s the personality that doesn’t care to follow the rules of the 4-way stop. Even though I had the right of way, he decided to roll through.
Luckily, I’d already come to a full stop and proceeded to make my way through the intersection. So now he had to wait in the middle of the intersection for me to pass. I didn’t flip him off. I didn’t even look at him. I kept my eyes on the road, my left hand on the wheel, and with my right hand, I gave the “tsk, tsk, tsk” finger wag. To which the other driver replied with a loudly-bellowed “F.U.”
It was so, so satisfying.
You see, flipping the bird is old hat. It’s an expected behavior, therefore it’s taken for granted. The finger wag? It takes the other driver by surprise. And it infuriates them, because they know they’re wrong. But here’s the catch: you have to follow the rules of the road and be in the right for it to work. So drive carefully, drive safely, and bust out a good ol’ finger wag when your fellow drivers don’t.
