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Pebbles’ Blog

Single On Valentine’s Day Does Not Have To Mean Lonely

It's that time again. Hearts and flowers and love are in the air. If you're single, and depending on how you feel about that, it can make you feel extra single. My single-life-loving self has no issue with it, and I've often used the day to celebrate love in all its forms with the people in my life. But what if Valentine's Day is a struggle for you? There are a lot of lonely people out there and the day can feel like a reminder that you don't have a significant other. The good news is, being single on Valentine's Day doesn't have to be a sad. If you plan ahead, it can be a fun and fabulous day whether you spend it alone or with family and friends. Here are some ideas of things to do. Spend time with kids If you're single and have kids yourself, plan to do something fun with them. There's nothing better than smiling and laughing with kids when you're feeling down. If you don't have kids of your own, borrow some. I'm sure you have a friend or a family member who would love to have the day/night off so they can get a break. Then just play. Get coloring books, watch a movie together, watch KIDZ Bop on YouTube with them and do the dances, sing songs, read books together, and whatever else you can do to be a kid again. Just have some fun. Have a "Pawsitive" day I know, so corny! But similar to the idea to spend time with kids, have a fun day with your favorite fur baby.  Again, if you don't have your own, borrow someone elses for the day. Another great idea is to volunteer at an animal shelter to get your fur ball fix. Treat your fellow single friend One year, one of my best friends, who lives out of state, was having a particularly tough year in singlehood so I sent her flowers. It made my whole entire week to hear her reaction. She was so happy and grateful and it truly lifted her spirits. The saying about lifting yourself up by lifting someone else up is so true. It really does work. Lean into it friends Sometimes all you need is a good cry. Watch those movies, sing those songs, get in touch with that part of you that is hurting and grieving about either a broken relationship or the complete lack of one. This may be a reach, but one of the things I've learned in therapy is something called exposure therapy where the idea is to expose yourself, in a safe environment, to the thing that's causing you distress, anxiety, discomfort, etc. I'm thinking by embracing your sadness, you're acknowledging it and getting those feelings out of your system. Seriously, I just love a good cry. Just be sure to have some things around you that bring you comfort and happiness to offset that. Maybe your favorite food, a funny movie, an upbeat playlist. I find that letting things out and not keeping them bottled up is extremely helpful. Sweat it out There are so many fun ways to workout these days, and it's been proven that a good sweat session releases endorphins and just make you feel good. Take a cycle class, lift some weights, do yoga, or learn some pole dancing. Whatever gets you moving, do that. Get Crafty I don't know about you, but I love a good craft project. If you're not on Pinterest, you don't know what you're missing. Get on there and search for projects to do. They have instructions on how to make anything from jewelry to wall art to finger knitting. I love getting lost in a good craft project. Before you know it, the day will be over and you'll have a beautiful creation. Don't just love yourself, LOVE yourself Yes, you should love yourself in the emotional sense, but right now I'm talking about physically loving  yourself. If  you're easily offended by sex talk, you should probably leave now. Happy Valentine's Day. Hope you have a good one. For everyone else, hear me out. Maybe use the day to start, or update, your toy collection. Yeah it's easy to go online and buy things there, but checking things out in person is more fun and actually empowering. If you've never gone into a store before I know that you may have visions of sketchy dark rooms, so let me help you out. My favorite place is called Good Vibrations in Brookline. It's bright and welcoming and the people who work there are really helpful. There are also people who throw parties and come to your home if that's your thing too. I know that Valentine's Day is a tough day for some of you, and I hope that if you're one of them, you find something to do that makes you feel good and not-so-lonely. It's cliche to say love yourself first, but sometimes cliches are just facts. Happy Valentine's Day!  

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